You can work your butt off to come across well— a flattering, flirty outfit, big smile, witty conversation—but you can’t do the same for your friends. Men know this, so if you’re out with the gals, men look at them as representatives of all your personality traits—including the not-so-good ones. “I met a girl who seemed sweet at a bar. We chatted, and she invited me to hang with her friends,” says Stan, 26. “Within 10 minutes, I realized they were all gossipy drama queens, and I bolted.” If your friends aren’t on the same win-him-over page as you are, head to your own corner of the bar.
Guys pride themselves on being funny, so they look for ladies who can appreciate their sense of humor. However, there’s such a thing as laughing too much. “I went out for drinks with one girl who cracked up at everything I said, even if it wasn’t funny,” says Adam, 27. “It got on my nerves so much that I made an excuse to leave early.”
You’re having a great chat with a guy when you get a text. What you do next—ignore it or write a response before putting the phone on the table so it’s easier to get to next time—tells him how you’d treat him in the future. “I met a girl at a coffee shop, and within 15 minutes, her phone rang,” says Seth, 33. “She just let it go to voice mail, which made me feel like, at that moment, I was her first priority.”
It's Your Turn: Decode His Body Language
What do you notice first when you meet a guy? How important are early red flags?